Friday, February 15, 2013

How to Change Seats While Riding a Roller Coaster:

If being a Peace Corps Trainee (PCT) is like being on a three month roller coaster ride, than being a married PCT is like being on that same ride while sharing a seat. Sharing that seat comes with both its ups and downs (no pun actual intended, but let's keeping going and see what we get out of it).

As the ride starts you have someone to talk with, confided in, and if necessary hold your hand. As the drops and sharp curves come you do not scream as loud because you truly know you're not in to alone (and you don't want to hurt the other person’s ears). Somehow the ride starts to feel smoother but the seat you’re sharing starts to feel smaller because it truly meant for one. Your PCT husband, wife, partner starts to only notice half the ride, half the experience. Then you realize you too are only experiencing half the ride as well. You look behind you and other PCTs still have their hands up, screaming in the wind. You look ahead and see the weeks of track left with all its dips and curves but you are already starting to reflect on haw nice the ride was. Because you and your PCT partner have worked out a system, where you hold her stead on the drops because you like them and she doesn't, she pins you to the side of the seat to lessen the effect of the curves, and you both look forward but only to one side when going uphill. Don't get me wrong it is a pleasant ride but when you look back and see all those hands and hear all those screaming voices you realize you are missing part of the ride.

I use this long roller coaster metaphor mainly to prepare my family and friends for the latest news in our Ecuador service. I also wrote it to encourage of PCT couple to do what we are doing (if the similar conditions exist).

Em and I are now living in separate houses (no we are not separating). I am moving to a new host family. Although we love our host family and are doing really well in training, our Spanish is suffering from around each other 24/7. Neither of us understands enough of all the parts of speech to hold a long conversation with each other and we often revert back to using English. Monday-Friday; 7am-5pm we are around 25+ PCT (unmarried or single however you take it) who HAVE TO talk in Spanish all weekend and every night in Spanish and they just want to speak in their 1st language. I am currently on an English ban for two weeks (not listen or speaking any English) but I know that it is not enough. Emily and I have decided that we will live with separate host families during the rest of training so that our language skills will increase at the rate of other PCTs. Many married PCTs have a hard time learning a language at the speed of a single PCT. So we are trying to squash that.

To settle your fears here are a list of questions I thought you might ask if I were to tell you this in person:

1. Are you and Emily doing ok?

Yes, we could not be better and our love and support of each is at its strongest.

2. Did Peace Corps make you separate?

No, we talked with them about some language strategies and this was one of the options.

3. Are you far from each other?

No, only two blocks away and we see each other almost everyday

4. How/ who is the new host family?

The new family is great a little quiet and reserved but I am slowly breaking that shell

5. Can you visit each other?

Of Course, Em has the same family so I feel comfortable going over there and they know us as a couple and love us both. My new family was more than happy to hear that I was married and has welcomed Emily over whenever she wants. Ecuador is all about family and is sad to see a couple live a part but understands why we have chosen this option.

6. Why have you not called, Skyped, or emailed me?

Two reasons first is the lack of time. When living with Emily's family we both had internet, but very little time during the week we are up at 6am, in training from 8-5pm, family time from 6-8pm and in bed by 9pm. on the weekend that family keeps you busy with something 6am-9pm.
Now that I am with my new family I have lots of time. But problem number two I have no internet. So, I am spending a lot of time getting to re-know the Spanish language and myself lol.

If you have anymore questions or concerns please email me of comment. Emily and I are having a good time here and really want to grow in the language. As far as the metaphor goes just think of it as new seats on the ride a better, scarier view. But if we need support we just need to reach out to each other. Now that I am done being calm, I need to throw my hands up and scream into the wind.

Always
Eric Aiken

-" Life can be like a roller coaster...
And just when you think you've had enough,
and you’re ready to get off the ride and take the calm, easy merry-go round...
You change your mind, throw you hands in the air
and ride the roller coaster all over again.
That's exhilaration...that's living a bit on the edge...that's being ALIVE." (Unknown to me)


-Life is a roller coaster, but I feel a change. (Donny Most aka Ralph Malph of Happy Days)


1 comment:

  1. "The world's a roller coaster
    And I am not strapped in
    Maybe I should hold with care
    But my hands are busy in the air" Incubus Lyrics.

    I thought of this lyric when read this. I am glad you two are going well and challenging yourselves!

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